Trapped…

The very feeling of being trapped in the pain of everyday life and so row captured in this simple piece which relates to Miranda's daily life being captured by Fredrick.:

I live in a world that exists only in my head.
It combats the world that is reality.
Its filled with characters that make up…me.
Men, women, children, animals, worlds.
They are trapped inside.
My heart hurts.
Some I wish were real.
I build them and they form and take shape.
Unrealistic figures dance their way through my mind everyday.
I wish I lived there.
A world full of adventure, danger, and yet always safe.
Living here, in this world, on earth, with the damaging people hurts.
Its hard, its boring.
The emotions I have created are too deep.
They don’t exist in the real world.
They appear to exist in books, maybe movies.
It doesn’t really exist.
There are to many combating factors.
It makes me sad to know
I will never feel those emotions I crave so deeply.
Or am so consumed by my past that I only believe that.

The Darkness Within…


It starts small.
So small you don’t even notice it.
Somewhere deep down in your bones you feel a tingle.
You ignore it.
You go about your business.
The tingle begins to grow.
You feel odd and out of place.
The tingle turns to fuzz.
You can feel it in your belly.
There’s nothing to be excited or worry about.
So it can’t be butterflies.
The feeling moves from the pit of your belly to your chest.
It takes residence there.
Waves of an odd feeling pours through your body from your chest.
It drives you.
It motivates you.
You feel you can do anything.
It’s dark, and you love it.
Nothing you do makes it go away.
You live with it day in and day out for years.
It becomes apart of you and you don’t want to lose it.
Not having it makes you uncomfortable, sluggish, tired.
You do anything to hold on to it. Dark music, movies, environments.
It makes you feel alive.
What if that thick tar of darkness you feel and let envelop you is from past events? Past demons?
Would you work through them?
Make the demons go away?
Or would you hold on to any ounce of memory, music, event, environment, person, or thing, that would push and build that feeling?
You love to get lost in the feeling.
Your watching yourself, but you do the best work when under the influence of this darkness.
Your lost without it.
Lost in a sea of social demands and shattered dreams.
No.
I don’t want it to go away.
I don’t want to lose it.
I want to live it.

Sun after the storm…

  
The rain and flooding cleared just in time for my weddings today and tomorrow. The sky is clear and it’s hot outside. Perfect weather for a wedding… Not so perfect weather for me. It’s going to be a busy weekend of editing and shooting… But it will get all done. 

Have a wonderful Friday evening! 

Rain, Can’t Complain…

  
Aw, all the wonderful things the peanuts can teach us. 

It’s still raining here… I haven’t left the house. From what Sir shows me there are still spots with massive flooding. I’m praying that the flooding recedes enough for me to get to the weddings I have to shoot this weekend. It is only Wednesday… And Texas is so darn bipolar! We will see as things get closer. 

I wish I was younger so I could still go outside and dance in the rain. One day I will be able to do a stunning photo shoot in the rain. Until then… I will just wait and finish writing. 

Aftermath, or Just the Start…

  
So for those of you who don’t know… We received about 16 inches of rain yesterday. That’s more than we received with Hurricane Ike and Tropical Storm Alyson!

So… I drive a manual sports car… and everywhere is flooded… guess I am stuck in doors. I am praying it clears up enough for the weddings I have to photograph this weekend. I’m not worried about not making it to the gym, it gives me a chance to work in my 3 hours of yoga a day. By the time I can get back to the gym it will be easy to work everything in. 

The rain isn’t over for us though. We are expecting more rain and thunderstorms today through Thursday, then more next week. Hopefully Houston doesn’t go underwater before we get to move to Seattle! So wishing we were there right now! 

Thunder, Lightning, and Rain…

  
So… It started pouring last night. I was so happy! I love the sound of the rain and the thunder, it puts me to sleep. Unfortunately it scares the dogs. They slept on the floor on my side of the bed safely hidden and out of sight of the windows. This morning around four am or so it started down pouring. I mean toad drowning pouring rain, loud cracking thunder, brilliant glowing lightning. 

I remember when I was younger the loud cracks of the thunder would scare me and I never understood why the Lightning came before or after. Now… I love it. It’s comforting… as long as the sky isn’t green. It’s a perfect day to stay under a blanket, read, write, and watch movies! Hope your having fun regardless of the weather!